Gaining and losing friends throughout life is a natural + normal process. As we change and age, different friends serve different purposes during all stages of life. Friendships can sprout from school, work, a shared activity, or random happenstance, and oftentimes when they end it is from distance between you becoming too large (whether it be physical or emotional).
Yes, there are those friends who you will ALWAYS have. Those ones who you can months without talking to and pick up right where you left off (don’t you love those friendships?) Friendships like that are gold. Don’t let those go!
This is a hard topic for me to write about, but after more than a year I think it is something I am ready to discuss. Now, I am absolutely not writing this to point fingers/accuse anyone. The point of these “personal essays” is just to chat about real life things, how I handle them, and see if any of you can relate.
[Because truly, I can only talk about surface things like clothes and shoes for so long, and I’d much rather write about the challenging things]
When I moved to California one of my closest friendships ended. It had been on a downhill slope prior to my move, and 2,000+ miles of distance was the icing on the cake.
We were both at fault. I said a few blunt, hurtful things that came out of a place of personal pain, and she removed me from every aspect of her life.
It was weird at first; here was this person I had become extremely close to, and even lived with, and now she would no longer answer my texts, my calls, or respond to birthday cards.
It hurt me for months, and because I’m me and dream about everything, I had probably 4-5 dreams about the situation. Some dreams ended with us repairing our friendship and others ended with her telling me she hated me. Unfortunately I let these dreams and this situation eat away at me for a while.
Then, one day I realized I hadn’t thought about it in days. And those days became weeks and soon turned to months. It became easier, and I no longer missed our friendship.
I do wish there was some sort of closure, but for now I’m letting it all go. I’m curious to know if any of you have ever experienced the same sort of thing?
Thanks for reading my scrambled thoughts!
xo, Maddy
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Nearly all of my “high school” friendships ended when I went to college. I grew up in a super rural area where people just don’t go to college. Some of them are working the same jobs they had in college. I found when I did move back that I just couldn’t relate to them anymore. We grew and changed and that was okay. No closure or anything like that.
I can sort of see it happening now with a couple of my friendships, one in particular. She’s one of my best friends, but we’re both in the midst of major life changes and there’s a good chance that we’ll grow apart, not out of malice, but out of just – life.
Rambling, but I know how hard it is when friendships you really cherish end!
Thank you for sharing your story! I can definitely relate to this. A few friends have come in and out of my life even though I wish I could say they all came and stayed. It’s always hard losing a friend, but sometimes it’s the best for both parties.
I’ve definitely screwed up and made mistakes, but the friends who accept me for my flaws and love me regardless are essentially the ones I want to surround myself with. Sometimes you just have to let others go.
Love your vulnerability in this. It’s something I struggle with every day. <3
xoxo
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