How much of your happiness can you control?

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let’s talk about happiness…

But first, a quick hello. I’ve reached the point in quarantine where all the days have begun to blend together. And half the time I’m unsure of what day of the week it even is. WE ARE HALFWAY THROUGH MAY. Through May. 2020!
I don’t want to complain, because healthy and safety are the top priority. But I am starting to get antsy and let myself feel the disappointment for all the activities that could have been. Like I said in this post in March (whoa), everyone is allowed to be disappointed. We will eventually get to do allllll the things again, but as someone who LOVES live music, festivals and travel in the summer, it’s just a bit sad.

Anyway, this segues well into today’s blog topic, something I learned more about in my Science of Well-Being online class last week. One of our initial assignments in class was to measure our baseline happiness. We used two separate tools – the Authentic Happiness Inventory and the PERMA Profiler. The class is 10 weeks long, and throughout the class we are completing re-wirement activities. Re-wirement activities differ per week, but they have us apply concepts in our lives that actually make us happier, and our lives more fulfilled. (We do first dive into happiness, why we think certain things will make us happy, why they don’t, and more).

In class I recently learned about positive psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and all the work and research she has done studying human happiness. Through her studies with her colleagues, they found that about 50% of happiness is determined by genetics, 10% by life circumstances and 40% by our thoughts and actions. THAT IS A LOT. (Last year I actually wrote a post entitled “Controlling your thoughts to change your actions,” which is absolutely relevant to this!)

Now, before anyone freaks out. This is not set in stone, the end all be all. This is her work and her research, so let’s simply keep these percentages in mind. Obviously humans are extremely complex! And there are many factors affecting genetics (and traits), life circumstances and your thoughts and actions.

But, a lot of people are in the US are unhappy.

We’re chasing after the wrong things, spending hours comparing ourselves to others on social media, constantly wanting more or better. We’ve all been there. I’m guilty of it more frequently than I’d like to admit. And as I’m learning through my class, the studies and personal experience, those things we think we want? They really don’t make us happier. Maybe briefly. Maybe a tiny bit. But overall? Not really.

I’m simplifying this concept for a multitude of reasons, but if you’re interested in learning more, there is plenty of reading available. I ordered her book – The How of Happiness – and once I read it I’ll share more of what I learned!)

Overall, my point here today is that YOU HAVE POWER. And you have control over a lot. Your thoughts and actions are unbelievably powerful! If you want to be happier in your day to day life than you currently are, those are going to need some adjusting. Tough love? Maybe. But it’s your life, make sure you’re working to create one you love.

thanks for stopping by,

xo, Maddy

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