[Spoiler alert: I have NOT found it]
A few weeks ago my dad told me I had no purpose and I needed to stop flitting around. I wouldn’t say this is new or monumental information, but it still stung.
Oftentimes I feel lost. What kind of career should I work toward? Should I live in Grand Rapids or move away again? Am I making the “right” choice? Is there a “right” choice?
Maybe I’m too soft. Maybe I shouldn’t even worry about other things or, in my opinion, the things that make life fun (friends, travel, concerts, new experiences, etc). Maybe I care too much about those things because I don’t have a purpose?
I don’t know. And now I feel like a lost idiot. Childlike really.
I wish I had some amazing, obvious purpose. Something I woke up every damn day and knew I wanted to accomplish, but I don’t. There are plenty of things I enjoy working toward and being committed to. But that one, special thing? Nope. I don’t have it. And you know what, it kind of sucks.
How does one find their purpose? Does it appear? Do you look for it? Where do you find it?
While my dad and I have some similar qualities, we are also very different people, born 35 years apart. We were raised differently, we developed differently and we think differently. But when we were talking, I felt like a failure. Someone who is “wasting their potential.”
I actually wrote this when we hung up the phone. I was upset, home alone, and not sure how to handle it. So I wrote it out. And for some reason decided to share it on the internet.
Brendan showed me this video maybe a week or two ago, and I was left inspired yet confused. It is definitely worth a watch. I do want to find my purpose.
If you are someone who has found your purpose, I would love to hear more about how and how you knew it was right for you?
If you haven’t, know you’re the not the only one flitting around.
xo, Maddy
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Oh Mads! I don’t want to sound cliche, but I don’t think I discovered my purpose until Stella was born. Sure I like my job, I don’t mind getting up in the morning and going to school and working with kids, but honestly, I could take it or leave it (I do it to pay the bills with the added bonus that I know I’m helping some of these kids). But when stella came along, it was like I had found my REAL purpose – she is my everything and something inside me told me I was meant to be a mom and this little girl was meant to be mine.
That’s not to say that motherhood is the only genuine purpose in life as a woman, but it is truly an amazing and rewarding season of life.
You are such a talented and educated woman, you’ll find your niche – it might just take you longer. Find something you truly enjoy and you’ll know you’ve found your purpose when you can’t imagine life without it – that could be a job, a person, a place, there is no distinct form.
Love you, Maddy!
I’m so happy you’ve found your purpose with Stella! Thanks so much for reading and commenting – I know I’ll find mine eventually 🙂
I totally get this. SO MUCH. I feel like I’ve been working hard to figure out my purpose for years and I still don’t know. I know I’m multipassionate and love people, but that’s about it. It’s so difficult, especially seeing all these people on social “living their best lives” and I’m over here like “uhhhh…” haha!
absolutely. I know what I like, and what I’m decent at, but still haven’t found that THING.
This is something so many people can relate to, especially in the world we live in where there is no clear path to “success” like our parents generation. I think we are also more explorative, with technology and travel the world is more open to us than ever before. At the same time, the ideas of getting a 4 year degree, a good job, a house and 2.5 kids is still very much valued. So confusing!
I think I’ve found my purpose. Though only recently, it feels SO good. I used to be a professional dancer/dance teacher, even moved to NYC to pursue it. Lo and behold I got here and was miserable. No reason, but everything I’d worked for my whole life seemed pointless because I didn’t want to dance for a career anymore. I was totally lost. I started going to yoga more and meditating regularly, and as silly as it sounds, following a regular meditation practice helped me calm my anxieties and feelings of failure/lack of purpose and start to be OK with where I was, even though I had no clue where I was going. My favorite mantra to remind myself that I was ok was “I am exactly where I need to be,” meaning that even when I felt like I wasn’t moving forward, trusting that every experience I may be going through is a necessary part of the journey. Once I stopped being so hard on myself, I noticed more opportunities coming up and was able to start to clear the clutter of my mind and listen to what a truly wanted out of life for myself. Danielle Laporte’s “The Desire Map” workbook was also extremely helpful.
Long story short, I’m a yoga/meditation teacher now and starting a graduate program in the fall for counseling for mental health and wellness applied psych. I’ve found that empathizing and communicating with others is my “gift” so to speak, and my purpose is utilizing that to help people deal with their own experience.
Basically, my advice is to listen and trust yourself, even if you think your ideas are crazy or unattainable. Keep your mind open to opportunites to try new things (even and especially fun things – you never know what will spark your passion/talents) Also, keep new ventures to yourself other than those you trust and know will support you. And lastly, don’t stop having fun! Those concerts, vacations, and fun times with friends make life worth living and create memories. You’ll never regret having lived your life.
Thanks for bearing with the long comment! Always enjoy your posts even though I don’t usually write 🙂
I loved the long comment, and am so happy to hear about your recent discovery. Its all one big journey, and the things we think our future selves will love may be the furthest from it. So far 2018 has been an adventure (as usual) but I plan to keep doing the things I know I love and trying to have as many new experiences as possible.
xo