The big 3-0

I started writing this on a flight from Baltimore to Grand Rapids last Monday, July 18th. Which was an utter fiasco. You’d think an hour and 20 minute direct flight would be a breeze. Wrong.

We sat on the tarmac in a HOT plane for 2.5 hours before taxi-ing us back to deplane and wait out a thunderstorm. Then, once we were finally re-boarding, a grown ass man threw a fit about not getting his seat back and ended up being escorted off the plane (while the entire back half of the plane clapped and cheered)…embarrassing sir. EMBARRASSING.

Then the flight attendant had to locate his bag in the overhead bin. And then we had to wait for the 6 planes ahead of us to take off. The original 2:40 departure time turned into 7:10. 

But, it is what it is. Weather can’t be controlled.

Anyway, I realized I didn’t write a birthday blog for 28 (2020) or 29 (2021) so the last one published was for my 27th birthday in 2019.

I am a completely different person than I was in 2019.

Do you ever look back on your behavior and cringe? Or is that just me?

The past few years have been filled with so so so much growth for me, in a myriad of ways, and I’m so grateful for it, even though it has been challenging (to say the least).

This past Thursday I turned 30.

The big 3-0.

I feel absolutely beautiful.

(most days)

Sure, I don’t love my little lines or those few white hairs showing up, or the fact that I think my knees look more wrinkly(?) but I’m holding off on the hair dye and botox (for now.)

I’m not here to list off 30 things I’ve learned (you’ll have to learn them yourself, we know this). Or to tell you what you should/shouldn’t do. I’m also going to do my best NOT to get overly emotional. 

Instead I’m simply going to share. 

Where I’m at, how I got here, and one of the most invaluable things that has led to where I am.

I’m also going to remind you that you do not have to hit any of the “typical” milestones at any certain age, or ever, if they’re not right for you.

The beautiful thing about 30 is that I am so much less worried about what others think of me and my life. It’s mine. My path. My journey, my flipping adventure. 

And I have friends at all different stages of life.

But if for some reason, you’re reading this and you’re in your early 20s feeling unsure of literally everything – it’s okay. I promise. Get out there and try new things and meet new people, an easy way to figure out WHAT you want is to weed out what you don’t.

I’ve always landed on my feet. It has not always been a pretty landing, but damnit I’ve landed…

I’ve quit 6 full time jobs in 7 years

I’ve moved across the country with my ex-boyfriend against plenty of opinions

I’ve fucked up

I’ve embarrassed myself

I’ve been in great shape and…not so great shape

I’ve gotten myself into credit card debt

I’ve been cut off from people’s lives

I’ve made new friends

I’ve traveled and explored

I’ve learned how to handle challenging experiences alone 

I’ve learned more about myself – and how to tune into my behaviors and actions

I’ve gotten my first little tattoo 

I’ve raced a half Ironman 

I’m building a business 

I know what I believe in, stand for and value

I’ve learned to set and uphold boundaries (most of the time)

I’ve learned to forgive and move on, because holding on hurts me

And SO MUCH more. 

Here’s what I can tell you –

Therapy is an absolute God send. If you are something who thinks “I don’t need therapy.” Drop the ego my friend, you can 100% benefit. 

I don’t have a perfect life. Or perfect relationships. Or perfect finances. A perfect home, body, job, WHATEVER.

It doesn’t matter. We’re all out here figuring it out and doing our best.

My goal these days is internal peace. And protecting that peace.

For the first time in my adult life, I’m not actively looking for a full time job. Or unhappy at mine. I’m 3 months into a contract with Merrell and I want to stay. If you know me, you know this is HUGE. 

I’ve actually been working on being LESS productive this summer and having more FUN. I feel a bit behind not really doing too much work on my business, but I keep reminding myself I can build it at my pace, and I’m already working two jobs 🙃

And the most important part – I can do work later, I only get to live these experiences with my friends now. And make those memories. Which is far more important to me.

All in all, I think the “lead up” to 30 feels more stressful than actually being here. I keep hearing that the 30s are the best, so I’m going to lean ALL the way into that. 

I’ll leave you with two quotes:

“Let your life proceed by it’s own design”

“The more you know who you are and what you want, the less things upset you”

Here’s to whatever the next decade holds. Thanks for being here. (Arguably this blog was a bit all over the board, but hey, that’s life!)

xo, Maddy